The Daily Doom Opinion

July 16, 2009

In response to Shreds
Well, personally, I think it’s awesome that I am in the T.O.D Hall of Fame. I am your arch nemesis whether you like it or not. Besides Nate & Karl take care of barney for me. The only thing that bothers me is, I’ve never been in the T.O.D ring, so I feel as though I don't deserve this honor. So, I propose that you and I have a T.O.D consolation match that is judged by total student body. So, what do you say Shreds? My tommy-gun vs. your flamethrower?   

July 9, 2009

I Nick (Flash) Flood am very disappointed that one Sarah (the mind reader) Jacobs has made a very unwise choice as to start an anti-Team “Fire Power”. I am so upset that I have decided to take this to the T.O.D Official court. I believe that Sarah has a conflict of interest, in that her next T.O.D opponent is now on a team with her. I believe that this is unacceptable and has tainted the T.O.D and its non-friendly fights to the death. Sarah has disgraced the T.O.D in a way that even the raptor wouldn’t dare to do she has turned this into a friendly competition to make it to the top. I hate the raptor but all he wants to do is kill everyone else in the T.O.D like it should be. He never had to come up with plan to make it to the top four, other than killing everyone else and I respect that.      

July 8, 2009

Anti-Firepower League

by Sarah Jacobs

In retaliation to the outrageous, chauvinistic failure known as Team Firepower, a group of both male AND female Raptor supporters have joined together to create the Anti-Firepower League [AFL].  This team, separate from Team Raptor Force, is another group looking to take Team Firepower down.  Included in the League are:

        - Sada "Home Wrecker" Thompson
        - Sarah "Mind Reader" Jacobs
        - Tessa "The Storm" Croatt
        - Jean Grey
        - Captain Jack Sparrow
        - The Doctor
        - Lumiere
        - Deathstroke
        - Nightwing
        - Dr. Doom

While there may be confusion as to why Dr. Doom is on a team supporting his recently defeated comrade, there is a very simple explanation.  After realizing how much of a threat Team Firepower was, T.F. Raptor and Dr. Doom came to an agreement.  Dr. Doom would beat The Raptor in the second round of the Tournament of Doom, allowing him more time to plot against Team Firepower.

        "We wanted to form a group that showed just how strong men AND women can be in supporting one of this years' best fighters," Jacobs commented distractedly, most of her attention focused on the back of passing Nick Flood's head.

   "We support the Raptor in all his endeavors," Thompson stated, "We recognized his need for free time and all agree that the truce between him and Dr. Doom was necessary."

"He'll be back next year, tougher than ever," Croatt said confidently, "He just has to work on a pest control solution for the time being."

The rest of the League nodded in agreement to the statements of their team members.  Lumiere was not available for comment, but rumor has it he still isn't intimidated by one very flammable bear, no matter what type of plastic surgery he has undergone.

Breaking News

By: Nick (Flash) Flood

Barney was found outside of Jason Stonerook’s apartment. Well, a small piece of him anyway. All that could be recovered from Barney was three teeth. They have positively identified the cause of death as a mini-gun, due to the 2894 mini-gun bullet casings found laying on the ground next to him.

June 30, 2009

Mind Control?

by Nicole Waedemon

It has recently come to our attention that T.O.D. competitor Sarah Jacobs (special trained by Yoda) has mastered the powers of mind control. With her mind control Sarah can invade the privacy of your thoughts to make you agree with her or do as she wishes. When asked about it Sarah, laughing, replied, “I have no such power,” but that’s just what she wants you to think. It is suspected she used these powers to swing last year’s T.O.D. in her favor.

Exhibit A: Nick (Flash) Flood, obsessed with crab meat, willing let her steal the meat from his plate even though he revealed its location in the cafeteria to her so she could retrieve her own. No one is safe.
Though she can work her magic from a distance, these mind control powers are even greater when she can manage some sort of physical contact. The only way to insure that the thoughts in your head are your own is to invest in making some tin-hats, as the tin confuses her ability to control and read your mind. Yoda has taught her well in the art of mind control and Dr. Doom may be in for it.

Iceman Won? What the Heck?

by Laura Krizan

                You’re  sitting in the stands around this huge field, waiting for the fight to begin.  Who’s fighting?  Hellboy and Iceman.  Who do you think will win?  The obvious choice is Hellboy.  He’s basically immortal, an amazing hand to hand combat fighter, he has fire that he can shoot at people, you can’t freeze him solid, he has guns up the wazoo, he has super super strength and he literally has a rock for a hand.  But somehow, this scrawny, mortal, wimpy guy, aka Iceman, manages to beat Hellboy.  This would never work in a real fight..  It only works with impressionable UB students who somehow think that ice is very formidable.  I don’t know about you but I think fire would be much more effective at killing me than ice.  It would be much faster too, and speed and surprise are very important elements in TOD fighting. 

                Basically, all that Iceman boils down to a hunk of ice.  Oh, and last time I checked, when you add heat to ice, this thing called melting happens.   If you don’t know what melting is, it’s when water changes state from a frozen to a liquid.  And guess what, Hellboy is heat!  He just had to think a bad thought and Iceman would be a puddle on the ground.  What about Iceman freezing super hard, you may say.  May I remind you that Hellboy has super strength and a rock for a hand, if he punched Iceman when Iceman was solidly frozen, he would just shatter him.  Have you ever seen the experiment with a rubber ball and liquid nitrogen?  That is exactly what would happen.

                So I think it’s reasonable to decide that everyone who voted for Iceman was an idiot, and that if it weren’t for a few names I will not mention, Hellboy would be beating the crap out of Lara Croft.

June 29, 2009

Round 2 Predictions

by Nick 'Flash' Flood

First match we are going to cover is Deadpool vs. Charrazard. Deadpool will clearly win due to the fact that he can spin his katana fast enough to deflect bullets. This means he can easily spin them fast enough to put out the flames in mid-air. I doubt the match will have to come to that, because deadpool at his most famous point also cared guns.

The next match where going to talk about is a given, the Raptor vs. Doctor Doom. I know that when I write about the raptor I am very biased. I mean, I would vote against the raptor if he was fighting a cotton ball; however, it is impossible for the raptor to win this match. Doctor Doom is made of space metal that doesn’t even melt at supernova (the heat of the sun), so clearly the flame thrower is ineffective.  With the flame thrower out the only thing the raptor has left is his bite, which also is ineffective, because Doctor Doom is made of metal. I really don’t see how the raptor could win.

Now this fight between Ironman and General Grievous is a tough one. I think Ironman has the upper hand in this fight, because he has the ability to fly and shoot rockets. If he couldn’t fly I would give it to Grievous hands down. I think that Ironman will just fly around then shoot Grievous with a rocket and kill him. The reason this will work is because Grievous is a human with a robot body with vital organs exposed. When Ironman shoots the rocket grevious will try to deflect it with a lightsabre. Since the rocket is not a laser it will not deflect and hit Ironman, but instead the lightsabre will cut through the rocket igniting the explosive contents inside at an arm’s length away. If the explosion is not enough, then the shrapnel sent into his vital organs should do the rest. So I’ve got to give this one to Ironman.

The last fight we’re going to talk about is Lara Croft vs. HK aerial drone.  Now most of you just see the word Terminator and think of Arnold Schwartzenegger, an indestructible robot walking around killing people. In reality the aerial drone is a little flying robot, which is cool but this robot is very easily destroyed. In the new Terminator Salvation movie there is a man getting chased but one of these drones. The man turns around and throws a tire iron at it, at which point it explodes. So if a tire iron can kill this machine, then I am confident that Lara Croft’s 50. Cal desert eagle pistols will do the job.   

June 23, 2009

Team Fire Power

After a series of long drawn out ambushes of Nick (Flash) Flood and his partner Snuggles against Team Raptor Force, Nick has issued the following statement.

"Nick has realized that Snuggles and I can no longer fight Team raptor Force on our own. We have decided to enlist fellow Anti-Raptorists such as:

• Karl (T9) Kramer
• Nate (KRAZY) Trentin
• Deadpool
• Rambo
• Gimili
• Al Capone & Associates
• Conan (The Barbarian)
• The Thinker

Operating under the name Team “Fire Power”, our objective is to eliminate the raptor from T.O.D. history. This elite team of future raptor killers is currently being trained by Snuggles and me on how to eliminate the raptor from the Tournament of Doom.
            By the way, in case you haven’t noticed, Snuggles is a little different. After a horrible loss to a candle stick in last year’s T.O.D. He wasn’t comfortable with his image. He is now demanding a chance to redeem himself in next year’s T.O.D."

Solid Snake Interview

by Heather Timm

The interview with Solid Snake went pretty well. I found him miraculous under an orange box in Cuba, hiding from guards. He relucatantly took the interviews.

Reporter: "Are you glad to be in the Tournament of Doom?

Snake: "Not really." (Cautiously looks around and lifts orange box.) "It is just like the usual stuff."

Reporter: (sits on box before Snake hides). "Oh, no you don't!"

Snake: (tries to push reporter off of box)

Reporter: (Kicks Snake) "You mean FOXHOUND still sends you out to do the dirty work?

Snake: "Yeah, more or less." (Pulls out another box.)

Reporter: (Grabs box and burns both boxes)

Snake: *glares at reporter*

Reporter: "Anyway, do you think you will win, Snake?"

Snake: "No." (Turns and ignores.)

Reporter: "I hear they call you a womanizer at times. That true?"

Snake: "Not entirely."

Reporter: "What's with the get up? It's a little to tight for a guy like you."

Snake: (no response)

Reporer: "You want the interview to end, right?"

Snake: "Right."

Reporter: (glares at Snake). "Why do you smoke in a non-smoking zone?! We are in a store!"

Snake: (puts out stogie. Still no response.)

Reporter: "What do you think of the Tournament?"

Snake: "Something to do when I'm bored."

Reporter: "Why?"

Snake: "Would you stop following me, lady!?"

Reporter: "I burned your cover and the guard is behind you."

Snake: (hides behind reporter)

Reporter: (kicks him off and walks in disgust)

This reporter has not heard from him since. He probably found a computer box or is hiding in an orange box somewhere again.

June 23, 2009

Click here for a powerpoint about the Freakin' Raptor